"Break of morning, coldness lingers on
Shroud me into nightmares of the sun"
- Opeth/"Bleak"
~ Part 2 ~
Melancholia: A long way through the darkness and light
"Catatonic state, it sharpens life's depressing edge
The clamor draws me closer to the ledge
As I gaze upon this burning world I curse this life
A life through which I'm hurled"
- Fates Warning/"Epitaph"
As released in the year of our Lord 2018 in the 12th month and the 31st day
A Continuation of Part I:
https://mavearworx.weebly.com/blog/m-a-v-e-a-r-w-o-r-x-track-to-track-compilation-5-esoteric-incarnations
Please reside by its intended format on a tablet, desktop or laptop. Most photos are available to enlarge.
Chapter 4
A psalm of ashes.
~ I ~
This Darkness . . .
The gathering grey
Surrounding me like beautiful clouds
As Autumn calls near
And makes it quite clear
I'm doomed to the Fall, and its a long way down
In this blackness I see only me
No one else to take with me
No need to give blame of anyone
Except for the lies from some
The voices
The whispers
Destroy the will
Of happiness
Of opportunity
Of simple hope for a future
Destroyed by an endless silence
Promises in an empty box
Tied with a bow
Hold it to my ear
So loud, I can hear the wood for the trees
And they are emblazoned by fire
And its aftermath
Death in its silence
Black, cold, lonely
Its darkness before the dawn
Ashes in my hand and not of my doing
Except for the screaming in my head
And the choices I've made
All these years
And where it has led
Decades of wrong turns
Wrong paths I thought to glory
A road to ruin
Intuition or Catch 22
Pushed the arrows in further
A pain to get used to
One more step to the edge and off unto the jagged rocks
To get that up close and personal view
Denial
Before that crack
As the tide turns red
Before the fade
Let the waves crash on this shore
Let the ocean take away the parts
Of what I was
I don't want them anymore
Let the sun eclipse
And bring on the darkness
As I push away
The fading
Light.
― Brian Jacques, Taggerung
Haunting me once again
I knew someday you would leave
And abandon me to forever grieve"
- While Heaven Wept/"Voice in the Wind"
All left to ash . . .
e had a fire . . .
And it devastated part of the city up in the foothills, valleys, mountains and Cleveland National Park. Luckily, only a "few" homes were damaged. And all
because of 1 crazy individual :(.
Strangely, as some kind of extra punishment to the part of his brain that is still cognizant, his cabin was
"saved" and untouched, while all the others around his were burned down. Yes, live with it, and may that
sanity in that dark corner of your mind make you realize what you have done . . .
Be sure to re-read all the above. That it can go out to those that scream and yell at people for differences of
"opinion". This goes out to the people that can't think for themselves or can not take self-responsibility,
and blame OTHERS for their own projecting of evil, of violence, intimidation, corruption. That they refuse
to see, who can't question, but follow leaders like pied pipers to their own demise, as they take all of us
with them, down to the jagged rocks. Like a legion, entering pigs to their slaughter into that chasm, the
jagged rocks to a raging sea to take what's left of humanity and drown it in violence. All to slaughter what
is left of our collective tolerance for each other. When once we had thoughts of our own, when we didn't
need any validation of what we thought was right (from wrong). When we knew what was right deep in our
consciousness, it was a gut feeling that made us move, question, pause, contemplate, and not react rashly.
We ignore our own intuition and wander around in the dark, yet trust in voices leading us away from
critical thinking and cognizant senses. They gather within the mob and don't realize they've become a part
of it, shouting at offenses that were never there.
Or the consequence was destroying trust, our ability to talk, converse, hear a new idea, or at the very least,
agree to disagree, yet we had no animosity to harm the other. But go about our day with the knowledge WE
didn't need to force our own ideas down people's throats. It was a "conversation", nothing more.
And then it made me realize other things that people hide, or I hid, away from sight. If it was all I have done since birth, through my childhood, as a young adult, to this 55 year old that has nothing to show for myself. I must've done awful things to be where I am. Call it karma or retribution from my Creator, that its time to change, for a resurrection inside, so that I can get up, shake the dust off the past and get on with life. To really see what's on the otherside of that horizon, that hill that waits for me, along with others that are trying desperately to live the dream, or just "life". That fire still burns to pursue.
differences. We have very strong opinions, but I let my anger get to me (but I also hated that "look" he
gave me, that judgement scanning me up and down, he probably had no idea he was doing it), I felt like I failed everything I stood for, it was and still is extremely embarrassing to think on it. I do NOT want to be
that person who flies off the handle. I did apologize to him a few minutes after. But I will always recall that
moment to my dismay. I never want to be that person again, to anyone, even if we completely disagree :(.
The embers still glow . . . . .
I saw you becoming the lie
Taking it all for granted
Like freedom
It's something you'll never have"
- Katatonia/"The Parting"
I also see facing me, things that I could not believe, from someone I loved with ALL my heart and soul, 2nd to my Lord this love, because He gave me this gift that breathed for me, and I her.
It has been told already what I could not maintain or grasp to keep her. But as she pushed me away, I fell off that cliff toward those jagged rocks, for 2 years an endless fall into the mist where I could not see, I just accepted those rocks waiting for me. But time revealed that she may have lied to me of her love. As if she "tolerated" me, or maybe its what she needed for the moment. I live with the biggest regrets of what I
couldn't provide, but to realize that she had a price to pay, and she took the comfort of what she was used to. But that included harsh words and neglect, as long as there was a way to maintain what she needed, for her health, to eat, to keep the lifestyle and a better roof over her head - while she learned a new skill to be
independent. It's a catch 22 that makes me confused to either hate her, or understand, to realize my faults, or to be angry and spiteful. To damn her or to wish her well, as flowers to a funeral, remembering a life
gone and nothing possible I could do to bring them back, but live with memories . . .
But I loved her, and though its taking time to try to get back into my profession, she could not wait any
longer. And from her perception, from where she stood far away, I wasn't holding my end of the bargain.
Issues we really never talked about, a situation she NEVER told me that we were done. Only that she needed
"time" . . . well without words to keep in touch, I was dragged, like my heart cut to shreds. I had nothing.
From 3 years of words and laughter everyday, hours on end - to nothing. A fire extinguished from a blaze,
gone from existence. Acres of ashes that still bear smoke. Yet again, time waits for no one.
I blink and she is there, I dream of her like a spectre looming that I can't see her details, but I know its her.
When I desire, when I lust, when I think of a body, face and limbs with flowing hair, I see her face when she looked down on me, I feel the flesh of her waist in my hands, and I sob. I can't have her anymore. And I can't have anyone in the condition I'm in, or in this dreaded "box" I live in, deep and as stagnant as the grave. This is not life, I'm wasting away as well as my talents and potential. So WHY would she want me, why would I let anyone else want me in such a condition?
She asked for the price, he made it possible, and she'll have to live with that. And hate me, like a stranger that she ran into, judged him up and down with disgust, and with no words think "how ugly" in her head.
I am the geek that longed for her if we went to the same school, she was unattainable, the one I'd bide in my courage, to that fateful day to ask if she'd spend a day with me, and just laugh at me.
She told me once that my "look" wasn't what she was ever into, but it changed when I came along. But I think it holds true now, when I once asked; "What are you doing with me?" as I saw how she lived, I had
nothing to give her, except my unconditional love. It wasn't enough in the end. All the "positivity" I held
onto, trusting her words that she loved me, that when we argued, they were just moments within all the laughter, tears, happiness, and plans we had. The music that we shared and all that love, all that went with it, and how much I desired her. Again, I wasn't perfect nor was she, and at times I should have been more attentive, to be in the "moment" with her, but I loved her as no one ever would. We had a fire, but now
gone, left to darkness.
Deception . . .
I am the creep from a distance, I am the memory to bury deep in the ground, I am a foolish past that was a regret, a wrong turn, "a mistake", a moment's pleasure to ease the pain. And its always easier to forget all before, and insult and put in my place, make it smaller and forget what you settled for. It's easier to make the moment you are in now, a better place . . . except when those shadows creep in, that you put behind you, and visit your mind again. In the mirror I see all my failures - what do YOU see? What do you see in
that mirror staring back at you? It doesn't lie, because I see all the truth as it bashes my head into that
person in my reflection with all my anger, sadness and regret. I can only escape it by moving forward,
bettering myself as I cry. But you never left him, you hung on just in case I couldn't provide ~ you lied.
I've cried too many tears over this. I'm tired of it all, this world of grey to black, and all the anger. I need an escape from these looming shadows.
With every step, or crawl, to dig out of this grave I've been in, through the wood, clawing through the soil.
I'll live, in this stagnation to nowhere, but dream of somewhere, to take all that I know and build upon
something elusive, something just out of grasp. But I'll keep reaching and clutch like claws on its prey.
Don't worry, these are just words, they'll mean nothing. Only your words and what you think of me, all that
I wasn't for you, none of the positives that I gave you. It wasn't enough, but you have it all now. All this will
be demeaned as drama, less of a man, and diminished to a casual meet for a point in time. If that is all it
was, then destroy it, kill it!
I keep what it was; real, pure and uncorrupted by outside whispers in ears or your own denying that it ever
existed in these eyes, and your heart. Its cold and I'm getting old, I need the warmth to return and find
something that may not be the same, but at the very least it will be warm, as I once known.
A long road to travel, all that pain and joy, and life lessons, where I found you, and you found me, we had
us. But you are the phantom limb, the part that is missing. But now toss it in the water, never to be seen
again without a trace, the gun that killed it. The evidence lost into the depths never to recover where all
freedom dies with the last embers that glow and fade. You lost yours, no celebration in mine.
I'll never again have what I knew, what I saw in your eyes and on your face, the smile you never gave to no one, but glowed brighter than the smile you gave to everyone. But this certain smile gave you a glow, and it
reflected unto me, and I felt it like the sun. You were the stars in the early morning, you were the streak
across the sky that gave me hope, you were the moon smiling and filling my heart, and I was the reflection of that smile that it gave to where you were. If you only went outside to look, you could have seen it too.
But I fell into those jagged rocks, I sunk to the depths for a long time into the abyss. A forest after the fire all laid to ash, blowing away in the coming autumn breeze, but you can now see the wood for the trees
can't you? A time of renewal, new roots to grow, and branches to reach to the sun between billowing clouds to bring the rain through the cold. New life while it dowses the light - we had a fire. Once gave life, like the
greenleaf from burned trees in spring. Shoots soon to be flowers blooming.
. . . but I awake on a distant shore. And now its time to find my own life again. To let go, let her find her own
way, to be blessed with the happiness she creates with her own hands.
- My final goodbye.
but like a demon she flew away
joy turned to sadness
hope turned to hate
All alone I wander in the darkness
lost and dazed I cease to exist
visions of old comes to mind
I've been through this before"
- Antestor/"Benighted"
Let me at once fly to the sky
I could not become the one you so needed
And buried for that in a cold ground"
- Funeral Tears/"For You"
Chapter 5
~ Paths of the darkness, to the light ~
When you face the end alone
You are lost
You can never go home
You are lost
You can never go home"
- Emilíana Torrini/"Gollum's Song"
Bridges
I had many
Like a murder of crows
Crows on a wire watching
Now they talk to me
As a fates warning
All those that I came for, from a distance
Now dwindled to resentment
Despise
Persona non grata
Bridges are blackened, decrepit
Must've been all me
All that I owed, all that I asked for
With a receipt of contemptment
For the low life I must be
King pariah
I'm the life of your party
Neglect the decay in the room
Remove yourself
We all have too much of our own
Bow thy head
And take whats coming
Slash without a cut
Scars deep and unseen
Wounds that never heal
Surrounded by many, yet feel so alone
Drown with my legs tied to stone
Mistakes and regrets
Smashing the mirror and my face
No one deserves a foot shoving into the dirt more
What was the point of all the past
when I keep falling on the floor
Many a path tread
But not anymore
To the depths
Alone
Drowning
Bridges
Now burning
On and on.
Reflections in fire . . .
| | |
A premonition, a fates warning to all and humanity. A road to ruin, a path through a dark place that we
may not be able to turn back. People have become so stubborn and lost, and headed in one direction that
they have lost their minds for beliefs that turn against their family and friends, as if they betrayed them.
But can't even see that THEY betrayed themselves, as well as their own reflection.
Yelling in a crowded theatre that's already on fire, and its falling on everyone, and no one will survive this
calamity. This destruction of any sense or reality, or common decency. You and I are adversaries in a mad
struggle to be right or wrong. Pick a side and become black or white, with no nuances or hues.
We are all the same, not individuals but a hive. Championed to be martyrs to a lost cause of nothing. All
that's left is ashes and devastation. A calamity that we lit and let rage.
We will burn every bridge while we stand on it, and yet no one has the sense to jump to safety, And we burn
like witches at the stake by the mob. No one can see ourselves, lit by the firelight in contorted ugly faces
that WE are the monsters burning inside. Can't even smell the stench of death, not aware that we have lost
all dignity, compassion is burning in those flames we kindled, we can't hear the screaming above our own.
We are dead, we are the ashes, we are bleeding all over the ground while stabbing someone else to kill the
light. The light is dying in all of us, and where will we go when all is dark? We, or more-so YOU will start
killing your own, you will devour the ones you fed upon, that fed you lies, those that are not perfect in your sight. You will feel the pain after you realize that you are eating your own limbs. And crying wolf has
diminished definitions and those that actually suffered, when no one believed and under smite, you threw
the 1st stone. Careful though; who are YOU and who do you excuse when you turn around not to see, what
do you deny when you are covering your eyes?
This is where WE are, what are YOU going to do to stop this insanity? When are you going to look at your
own hands, and the blood you can't wash? The ashes leaving its evidence? Can you smell the stench of
death that's being created? Look around, are you still looking for a villain, are you still judging, projecting and stabbing at the dark instead of finding the door to the light? Or deny our sins, and rage to all those around you. When will this adversarial behavior end . . . .
The sky is gone again
And all beneath are born to die
Insignificant, am I?
And then one day you'll realize
Just a speck in the spectrum
Insignificant, am I?"
- Nevermore/"Insignificant"
"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye." - Matthew 7:3
All are ashes.
Can we recover what's left of human kindness, charity, understanding and humility? But also reality and
what can be detrimental to ALL? But what is reality when it is eternally questioned, no amount of facts or
evidence seem enough? Burned beyond all recognition before even a glance . . .
Is this the beginning of the end?
Dreams and truths are inside of me. No eternity!
Ask yourself...
God, Forgive me..."
- Illusion Play/"When my ashes touch the Sun"
~ Aftermath ~
Chapter 6
On yesterday's path
Forgotten bridges over blackened rivers
Veins of life reaching out
Trails end in yesternight's garden"
- Aquilus/"Smokefall"
― Chris Maser, Forest Primeval: The Natural History of an Ancient Forest
~ III ~
Falling
An eternal abyss
I once found an Angel when I was in that endless darkness
So golden and beautiful
Never felt this
I had this fire
She lit and was Ours
I had what I thought was my future
Mesmerized by the light
Shone like the sun
Basked in all its energy
Time was endless
But my sight
Hidden from the light
You lie with me
You lie in your distance
You lied to me
Then the silence . . .
She said he said
Or nothing at all
Giving up
Giving in and letting go
Push me in
I can't swim
And into the dark
Fighting the waves
Lies and truth blend colors from grey to black
No one remembers what they said
Just shadows looming
Promises only leave hearts to beg
Weeping
Lost to the winds
Words fall silent as leaves
Bleeding on a sleeve and all over the floor, with it bits and pieces
Wearing it for every eye
Exposed until completely drained
Dry
From blood to tear
Discarded, shattered, reality
Scattered
Gorged with pretty nails
There are no happy endings here
My gift is my silence
The silence you left so loud
Regurgitated lies after lies, same old story, another bow to strike the strings
Twist the pegs till they break
Dancing the same old dance, released in familiar arms
Where it was more secure, and the same old song
Feel the ache
Codependent
Same jagged words
All the things she was used to, and back for more
A price on your head, and you took it
Live with it, swallow it, but it wasn't because it tasted good
It was all you knew
Bitter words
That slash
And leave its scars
I bled for you
And HE bleeds you
But turn the card
And the joke is on me
Madness
And laughter
I gave in
My Sacrifice without a fight
When you asked for time
Eternally
Really believed
Without question
Again play the fool
And I take a bow
And back to the darkness
Black
All color gone
You shut down your heart
And sold your soul
These memories
Lost to the stars eternally
Lost in another lithium dawn
Red
Choking
In this blood flow
Stabbed in the chest
And you run
With this violence
Fall below
Destroyed
You have what you wanted
A moth to a flame
And I too
I'm Dead
Gone.
Time to burn it down . . .
You were not delivered
Landing hard
Amidst the bones and myself
In I you trusted
All your worries and wonders
But you will find no comfort here"
- Casualties of Cool/"Bones"
We need to bury the ghost, the past issues that were being forgotten. Yet the evil and those bored needed
to set the fire because they liked to watch it all burn. Encrusted with the filth and lust of destruction.
Don't let it suck you into the vortex, spilling kerosine on the blaze, and find you are in the middle of it
while you screamed at anyone you thought was trying to burn you! We share this world, WE need to awake
from this sleep, this passive surrender to those we thought were smarter, telling us that WE are to blame
for all that came before, when we were not even alive. Reject the lies and see the agenda of deceit and do
not give into their demands of destroying the very ground that we all stand. We will ALL pay the price when
it crumbles beneath us. YOU will fall just like the rest of us, yet deny that you had a part in it.
Failures.
To love loss, and whatever responsibilities we failed. Where do we find forgiveness, in our faith, to the one
that no longer is with any of us, is it selfish to forgive ourselves? People often say how "convenient" it is
to have a higher power to forgive our sins, yet we are maligned because they say WE have no one telling us
this, but our own conscience. But does the forgiving of them or us, clear all we have done? Who are we but
mortal men and women? What power do we hold? Is it as empty as what you may perceive is a deity, that
we believe? All I know is that everyone has a choice, what is deep within you and what you believe. All the
mechanisms in your mind and heart, your gut, your spirit and intuition. Whatever regrets and sins we have
committed to bring us so low, is hard to climb from. Somewhere at some point we need to bury it, burn it.
Take the steps to move, to get up and face each day to find new love, new goals and success. And maybe,
bury the hate into the ground deeply, or the pain ~ and forgive.
Plant a seed, to watch it grow, and be all that it is to reach the sun, learning life lessons, and grow stronger like an oak, mighty as the redwood. And be a safe dwelling for life, to nest on your branches, gathering all creatures to you. With a welcoming soft heart that grows stronger, where roots dig deeper.
Images
All these things entangled in fury
Endlessly perpetually
Premonition
A benediction for all that dies
And prophecy
I see the clouds gathering
A gathering of tongues come the lies
And fall in line
To this demise
Run out of these walls that are closing in
Of thorn and twisting roots
A door open to a new beginning
Or a world destroying
Plague, pestilence
Or self-infliction
Humanity cuts the hand that greets them
A splinter with every lost grip
Last grasp at the end of the straw
With thorn and twist
Trying to gain
Giving into the pain
With every friendly gesture
You get a facefull of vitriol, it wasn't what I meant at all
Put on the tag of what we are, so easily
A corpse to eviscerate
Without knowing who they are
The lives they touched and lived
Easier not to look at the reflection, everyday to wake up
To face the one that created it
Cannibalize
More lies to perpetuate
And watch how they all eat themselves
So easily
Division to a scorched earth
To take us with them
Down into the abyss
Where they burn everything down
Its funeral march in shame
Walk the long halls of discontent
Bleak
A gauntlet of rage
Surrounded
Bury the hatchet deep
And nowhere to put it
Useless
Toss our ashes
To the wind.
The gloom from the fallen . . .
"I am alone, I am scorn
I can't remember to forget you
I just weather the storm"
- Draconian/"Rivers Between Us"
My world
Inflicted with this gloom
Surrounded like black wings from a raven
Shield me from the light
So let it rain
Let me feel the cold seep through my veins
Through bone and sinew
Wash the pain from the back of my neck
These old bones feel the coldness of those far away
Close enough in my head
Around my throat like a tourniquet
Am I numb or dumb
Torn by rejection
From a Mothers only Son
And a Brother that claims me to be no one
By deed, 'less words
From the womb to the tomb
All gone
All are dead
I have nothing but my Creator
And I'm screaming up to You
Where father is, who rejected this oldest son
Do you make amends with our savior
Do you shed a tear, then let it rain
Send a message that cuts through the stars
Wash away the burden left on me
This heritage
These practices
These habits
And malcontent
Lord forgive me all the sins of childhood to man
I pay the price with this sacrifice
Left to dry up on high
Add another nail
Even though this trial brings pain
I never been more committed
Letting go
More knowing of You within this heart
Giving in
Bruised and beaten, but never weakened
Only for moments
I only trust You
Acceptance
But here on earth, I've grown accustomed to . . .
The pain and agony
But hopes for a destiny
A tender hand
Without the lies
An acceptance for all I am
What I could be
What I want to be
Though, too much in the waiting
To see sparkles and beams
Through Autumnal leaves
Aching
Slowly dying
Fading
Fade
Away.
But cathartic to this soul. I have been in that abyss of late, but was able to crawl to the light. From my own
making, to those trying to get to me and pull out my heart. And from those close, where they cling to life,
among 5 that have already left this world, with their life in Gods hands, along with those hands blessed to save lives, under the roof I live, an ailing man that clings to life under the watchful eye of his sister (to, left
alone where I faced fears and tended to him, where I found myself and closer to my faith, inspiring my
inner strength, and doing not what was expedient ~ but what is right).
And memories, yet tainted won't leave me be. The sorrow is trying to overpower me. But through the wood and the trees lies a truth, a light that could bring me home, and many more with me. Bright and true as all will be revealed in the light from the plague of darkness. Leaves fall, but Autumn renews.
Keep it close to your heart, and dare to "hope", it is all we have. But that WE can choose the light of truth,
not of us against them, but "us". Breathe the air that has become clean and pure, from the fires that raged
out of control, and tried to take us down within the mire of ash, the stench of death. But to grow from the
devastation, to be one with the green, the bark and roots feeding on the waters to bring life deep within the
soil. A compassionate flow of a never ending stream to wash over you, seeds to flourish a new beginning.
Some fall on the rock, some fell on the rich soil, and we remember the words embedded in our minds and
hearts, to love thy neighbor, and do unto others as they have done to you, and visa-versa, perpetually.
A re-birth to a new understanding. May it grow stronger with each month and year, to weather all storms,
but again, to make us grow and reach like branches and leaves to the sun. To each other.
Embrace the gloom, the clouds and rain, but the clouds will part to reveal a sea of stars and a sunrise for
another morning, to see the valley open before us, in a coming dawn to another journey of discovery. And
the clouds part, mountains come out of the sky and stand there to be revealed.
I am you, lost . . .
I am going through a lot right now. Lots of self-doubt, as other voices and their stories are trying to dictate my own. A tug of war with what I believe, my personal experiences that many of those voices know nothing about. There is always someone telling you how things are, but are only talking from their perspective, but have no clue what you do, and how it is done. Expectations are high, but then they demean or tell you
there is not much chance of you succeeding. Two steps forward, two steps back - it goes the same where I lived and where I am. I was chastised for my vocation, it wasn't a "real job" because creativity will not get you anywhere, yet I was on an assignment that I had a milestone to meet, and wasn't allowed to finish it!
All the anger and bitter rage for nothing, but to keep me down, to put me in my place. And now a Mother that seems so disconnected from who I am, this heritage, this son who can not depend on anyone. Not even a Brother to call on to have a conversation about the things that interest the both of us mutually.
Everything is tainted with anger and misunderstanding. I, the one who always apologizes, but for what? What did I do to deserve wrath?
So here I am stagnant in my moving forward, to escape this place far from where I need to be, a cultural
vacuum that holds nothing, not even for a walk. I feel as a stranger in a strange land, far removed from all
these people I see here that live a life of ubiquity, going with the flow with no real reason but an ebb and flow. Osmosis, habit, its whats expected.
This isn't life, its a dead end, but what am I to do? How many ask this question as thousands just go about
their lives to provide and accomplish all they go after? I wonder why I am in this skin, why is this my mind
and how I think, yet can't make the changes so easily. So stubborn and ignorant, stuck in this rut, and all
creativity from pencil to paper I can't conceive of doing like I could never draw at all. But I know its there,
though it feels like someone else, not me. But a cautionary tale this will all be.
There will come an epiphany, it will come too late or on time. Will my heart be sorrowful because its come
so late in this life? Will I find a woman that is warmer than the one before, or will we have the same dance
and goodbye? This mind, perpetually asking questions like a skipping record that I need to lift the arm.
And put a new Lp on, and hear its unrehearsed words, a new idea, a new purpose, a new rhythm. I hope
with prayer and knowledge I can find myself again, escape this dark forest and a new trail to my destiny,
before any fire left is extinguished before it has time to grow. For any rain to uproot any semblance of life.
I hope that you and I will find the answers we desperately need, and will be reborn to some semblance of
strength to move ahead and live the dream. We MUST live the dream.
As the seasons, we must change, as leaves wither, a spring comes to be reborn like a stream to a river. And
becomes an ocean of goodness and knowledge, to pass onto others in need, or who are as lost . . . .
"Worlds grow inside you, don't you be afraid
Peace comes to you like a warm embrace
Every season has its sacred ghosts
I see your heart is getting warmer while we peel the crust"
- Flower Kings/"Rising the Imperial"
Breathe . . . .
but it will come from behind when you least expect it. Or you linger on it too much and it wraps its shadow around you as you pull it in tighter.
Breathe in the gathering gloom . . .
Whatever you do with it, take it in for the moment as it will be your release, breathe it in, but you must
have that mechanism to awake and see the sun again, through the clouds and rain. But there will be a day when the sun shines on the landscape, when the clouds part to reveal the stars, and a rain to wash away the sorrows and cleanse all, baptizing us of darkness, washing the crust of bitterness and anger, and those that try to bring us down. Only to reveal the purity of your heart and soul to rise above and to carry on to what you must pursue to find your way again with all you take with you, to tread that path you feared and reach that place of bliss. You drop that weight that was once so heavy, and then you will be able to fly to your
destination with all you have learned and lived with on your journey, free of the yoke upon your shoulders to a new destiny. With someone you love, or on your own, but you will awaken from your sleep, and find
you hold the pearl you have sought out to find, like a dragon in triumph, as a eagle soaring above all the
chaos to live life and find your freedom. Stand on the precipice without regret or fear.
And with all that's mine
I need to look back inside
And this day
New life raced through my mind
So with all that's mine
I need to look back inside
I need to look back inside
I need to look back inside"
- Riverside/"Beyond the Eyelids"
Here I wait
Much too late
Like cold comfort
In a fading misery
So much time gone
In the fog
I can only see moving shadows
Of melancholia
In a abyss of sleep
A coma
Of purgatory
Stagnation of routine
Another reel of the same old scene
But in flickering light
A vision
To make any of these ends meet
This doubt
These walls rising to surround me
Shade me from the light
As my eyes are drowsy
There is a pleasant breeze through the drapes
Through weary eyes
I break a smile
I see a tomorrow
Where the sun returns
I will regain my sight
And rise
Thru the aftermath of
Ashes
Burned everyone
And all we once knew
And the me and you
From the Us vs Them
And all what was left of our sight
And all that was left to do
No sight from our hearts
Not what we see
Just hearsay
Gone and
Blind.
When the angles are right
And the moon is a slender crescent
Its circle shows
In a ghostly glow
Of earthly luminescence"
- Rush/"Earthshine"
It's for you and me . . .
- It is a few days after Christmas 2018 I write this new entry.
As I've said at its Seasons End, I realize that Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Autumn in general can be a
tough time for many with its gloom, isolation, bitterness, anger, being let down and in despair, as I have
my own stories of the same. But what I went through during Thanksgiving, and what I gave up to my
Creator was, in its perfect word; "miraculous". I was witness to His power and He heard my cries of
desperation, with no doubt on my lips, and filled my heart with life, and purpose of what I had to do for
another, suffering MUCH more than I was. I found something greater than myself in various ways, but it
wasn't easy, yet His yoke was light, and in light I was filled to remind me that He was there, all I needed
was to have full trust in his existence, and the door opened wider to possibilities, and blessings from the
now, through the future and all it hold. Open to whatever it may be.
I had to give up and give in that I could not walk any further, and as a lamb in His arms, I had to be carried
by His gentle hands.
I really do pray with all hope, in the recesses of my heart that your sadness will find light soon (but if you are one of those rare folks that live joyfully, bless you :), that the world has not overwhelmed you and you are scared to think there is no hope, no matter who you are. But you must start healing yourself first, YOU will pick yourself up out of the darkness and know that things will get better, and that YOU can make the difference to find purpose again, be everything that you are and carry on to live, share love and fight on to happiness. Fight the fear and fight on till you find where YOU belong. Please know I have been in those
dark depths of despair as well, but at some point I let the light shine in, I had to laugh and be happy, to
awake and accept who I am, but pull in the reins to live the dream. Find my station, and work to find my
creativity again ~ its a battle, but we have to gird ourselves to fight on, to fight for it all, with something
that inspires, gives us hope and brings us to its light.
Take a deep breath, and take the leap, but to go forward in a new life and live it to its fullest and never ever give in! And somehow, never lose your sense of humor. Keep those "brights" on :D.
- MAVIII
I don't wish to remember the warmth of your embrace
I don't wish to bleed on your altar of demise
I don't wish to wither among the petals of disgrace"
- Triptykon/"Shatter"
~ Epilogue ~
Esoteric Incarnations ~ 4th, 5th & 6th entrance
Drowned within the tears that once cared
His kingdom has fallen down
As his thoughts take him back
For one who once treasured life
Now to paint the world black"
- Sabbat/"Paint the world Black"
Esoteric Incarnations ~ 4th entrance . . .
No favors from the dead
We wash with moonlit hands
On the shores of our island
We never know, we never know
We sleep in satin nights
Throwing energy in silver curves
In twilight"
- Peter Murphy/"Cascade"
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL2DU3TBNutEcfzoRx66hw0MD7AHQ48TAr
"Your words are poison!"
Howard Shore - Lord of the Rings: The Prophecy
Opeth - Den Standiga Resan
Fates Warning - Epitaph
Arkan - Hayati
Skyharbor - Patience
3 - Been To The Future
Autumn - Alloy
Steven Wilson - Raider II
Riverside - Beyond The Eyelids
O.S.I. - Memory Daydreams Lapses
The Ocean - Calymmian
Lost Inside - Wasted Days And Restless Nights
Ikuinen Kaamos - Frailty
Anciients - Ibex Eye
Insomnium - Weighed Down With Sorrow
Soulfallen - We Are The Sand
Dawn Of Solace - I Was Never There
October Tide - Caught In Silence
Evadne - Awaiting ( Feat. Natalie Koskinen )
Triptykon - Shatter
Amederia - Together
In Mourning - The Final Solution
Clouds - The Deep Vast Emptiness
While Heaven Wept - The Drowning Years
Howard Shore/Emilíana Torrini - Lord of the Rings/The Two Towers OST - Gollum's Song
Lunatic Soul - Summerland
Anathema - Ghosts (The Optimist)
Rishloo - Harlequin
Socionic - Asia Morta
Prisma - Seceder
The Mayan Factor - Warflower
Oceans of Slumber - Suffer The Last Bridge
Woe Unto Me - The Gospel Reading
Eternal Tears Of Sorrow - Sea of Whispers (Acoustic Reprise)
Dawn of Solace - Ashes
Illusions Play - The Dawn / When My Ashes Touch the Sun
Trees of Eternity - Gallows Bird (feat. Nick Holmes of Paradise Lost)
Storm Corrosion - Storm Corrosion
Devin Townsend Project - Terminal
Solstafir - Ambátt
Arcturus - Shipwrecked Frontier Pioneer
Opeth - Porcelain Heart
Witherfall - Ode to Despair
Draconian - Rivers Between Us (feat. Daniel Änghede)
Agalloch - The Melancholy Spirit
Sabbat - Paint the World Black
Candlemass - Mourners Lament
Solitude Aeturnus - Mirror of Sorrow
Katatonia - The Parting
While Heaven Wept - Finality
Peter Murphy - Cascade
Casualties Of Cool - Mountaintop
Lubaris - Dysforia (Instrumental)
Reverend - Far Away
. . . a Red dress.
"I had a dream, which was not all a dream.
The bright sun was extinguish'd, and the stars Did wander darkling in the eternal space, Rayless, and pathless, and the icy earth Swung blind and blackening in the moonless air; Morn came and went—and came, and brought no day, And men forgot their passions in the dread Of this their desolation; and all hearts Were chill'd into a selfish prayer for light: And they did live by watchfires—and the thrones, The palaces of crowned kings—the huts, The habitations of all things which dwell, Were burnt for beacons; cities were consum'd, And men were gather'd round their blazing homes To look once more into each other's face; Happy were those who dwelt within the eye Of the volcanoes, and their mountain-torch: A fearful hope was all the world contain'd; Forests were set on fire—but hour by hour They fell and faded—and the crackling trunks Extinguish'd with a crash—and all was black.
The brows of men by the despairing light Wore an unearthly aspect, as by fits The flashes fell upon them; some lay down And hid their eyes and wept; and some did rest Their chins upon their clenched hands, and smil'd; And others hurried to and fro, and fed Their funeral piles with fuel, and look'd up With mad disquietude on the dull sky, The pall of a past world; and then again With curses cast them down upon the dust, And gnash'd their teeth and howl'd: the wild birds shriek'd And, terrified, did flutter on the ground, And flap their useless wings; the wildest brutes Came tame and tremulous; and vipers crawl'd And twin'd themselves among the multitude, Hissing, but stingless—they were slain for food. And War, which for a moment was no more, Did glut himself again: a meal was bought With blood, and each sate sullenly apart Gorging himself in gloom: no love was left; All earth was but one thought—and that was death Immediate and inglorious; and the pang Of famine fed upon all entrails—men Died, and their bones were tombless as their flesh; The meagre by the meagre were devour'd, Even dogs assail'd their masters, all save one, And he was faithful to a corse, and kept The birds and beasts and famish'd men at bay, Till hunger clung them, or the dropping dead Lur'd their lank jaws; himself sought out no food, But with a piteous and perpetual moan, And a quick desolate cry, licking the hand Which answer'd not with a caress—he died.
The crowd was famish'd by degrees; but two Of an enormous city did survive, And they were enemies: they met beside The dying embers of an altar-place Where had been heap'd a mass of holy things For an unholy usage; they rak'd up, And shivering scrap'd with their cold skeleton hands The feeble ashes, and their feeble breath Blew for a little life, and made a flame Which was a mockery; then they lifted up Their eyes as it grew lighter, and beheld Each other's aspects—saw, and shriek'd, and died— Even of their mutual hideousness they died, Unknowing who he was upon whose brow Famine had written Fiend.
The world was void, The populous and the powerful was a lump, Seasonless, herbless, treeless, manless, lifeless— A lump of death—a chaos of hard clay.
The rivers, lakes and ocean all stood still, And nothing stirr'd within their silent depths; Ships sailorless lay rotting on the sea, And their masts fell down piecemeal: as they dropp'd They slept on the abyss without a surge— The waves were dead; the tides were in their grave, The moon, their mistress, had expir'd before; The winds were wither'd in the stagnant air, And the clouds perish'd; Darkness had no need Of aid from them—She was the Universe".
- "Darkness" / Lord Byron (George Gordon)
"So now we wait
Held captive to a lie believed to the day
Those sins repaid
Now years have passed and lines left to betray
Suspended in time we’ve lost the will
The nerve to carry on
Short on time, now no remorse
We’ve crossed the line “this will be the end”
- Witherfall/"The Great Awakening"
A murder for evenfall
Where a new dawn resides
Veiled by sunlight
All veiled by sunlight
Of gilded silhouettes
Where long shadows rise"
- Ne Obliviscaris/"Eyrie"
Esoteric Incarnations ~ 5th entrance . . .
Above the unsuspecting
Their true face shows where they feel alone
Nothing is hidden
No more secrets
From the invisible guest in every room
So it's all self-deception
I always missed the bigger picture
But now I can see it all"
- The Ocean/"The Quiet Observer"
It’s all unreal to you
A sunset calls me here
I swear to love it’s true
So alien this vaulted screen
And patterns form into contours
The dark around me dense as matter
A stellar quake fills the astral space
How dare you not to see?
My tears are gifts to you
A heart you must set free
How dare you not believe?"
- Draconian/"Stellar Tombs"
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL2DU3TBNutEfqzcwreJV0-tLV23TuFCSE
Harry Gregson-Williams; Kingdom of Heaven OST - Crusaders/Kingdom of Heaven Theme
Paradise Lost - Close Your Eyes
Draconian - Stellar Tombs
Ne Obliviscaris - Eyrie
Leprous - The Price
Solstafir - Hvít Sæng
Steven Wilson - Remainder the Black Dog
Oceans of Slumber - Devout
Dark The Suns - Unbroken Silence
Lost Inside - Hearts Will Grow Heavy
Opeth - The Moor
Katatonia - The One You Are Looking For Is Not Here
Cellar Darling - Black Moon
Witherfall - Nobody Sleeps Here...
Nevermore - Insignificant
Enslaved - Hiindsight
Shape Of Despair - Night's Dew
Eternal Tears Of Sorrow - Angelheart, Ravenheart (Act III: Saivon Lapsi)
Winds - Premonition & Remnants of Beauty
The Morningside - The Shadows of the Past
Funeral Tears - For You
Antestor - Benighted
Saturnus - All Alone
Anciients - Incantations
Insomnium - The River
Blackfield - My Gift of Silence
Lubaris - Interludium (Instrumental)
Abigail's Ghost - Thereafter
Porcupine Tree - Remember Me Lover
IQ - Sacred Sound
Genesis - Firth of Fifth
The Flower Kings - Rising the imperial
While Heaven Wept - Voice in the Wind
Novembers Doom - What Could Have Been
Athela - Reliance
Apathy Noir - Broken Horizon
Aquilus - Smokefall
Alley - Day For Gray
October Tide - Of Wounds To Come
Minsk - Embers
Cult of Luna - Sleep
Rosetta - So Warm A Solitude
The Ocean - The Quiet Observer
Aoria - A Slow Moving Storm
Karnivool - Aeons
Latitudes - Antechamber
Enochian Theory - This Aching Isolation
Quidam - We Lost
Glass Kites - Terra
Riverside - Towards the Blue Horizon
The Pineapple Thief - The Final Thing On My Mind
Mazzy Star - Into Dust
Casualties of Cool - Bones
Opeth - The Ward
This Mortal Coil - Waves become Wings/Barramundi
My Dying Bride - Your Broken Shore
Shape of Despair - Descending Inner Night
clouds form fogs and cover the trees in subtile drops of water, creeks cross eachother, as sand rises up to smother and leave trees hollow and waters so shallow, I walk this woods like a faded numb shadow.
This forest weeps, it is saddened, the eveningfall betrays the sunrise and the stars and moon disappear,
in the darkest silence I can hear there is a horrifying scream deep inside the forest,
it can not sleep, and as I keep on stumbling into the forest deep, I find the trees that weep, Only following fireflies, not noing where I am nor who I was before, in a forest with only trees sounding like a
squeeking door.
While kneeling down to the pine, I find its roots in twine,
sand gets in my eyes and a needle stings my cold fingertips, when I realize I'm lost, I'm cold.
So cold that I have blue lips.
This forest weeps, it is saddened every tree, every branch is all thou shall see, either dark and grey,
or as if we are swept away.
all is empty and the forest is sad, it cries, it crunches just as I stumble on these branches they mourn,
they mourn, we mourn".
- "Sad Forest" / Vicky Iliaens
This consuming
Black sphere
That surrounds me
Life in your future
Exists not for me
All clouded
And unresolved
As I helplessly watch
The descending of
The final inner night
To see the self"
- Shape of Despair/"Descending Inner Night"
By the sun's final rising, I don't even see
How the silent tears are flowing from the reaper's eyes
As the frost is calling for young harvest to the night
He's crying for my heart... He's mourning for my soul.... I'm all alone"
- Eternal Tears of Sorrow/"Sea of Whispers"
~ ΛΩ ~
Begin
The end
To put it away
Clouds and contemptment
Leaving the path behind
Awake
Its another day
Rise from these ashes
With a new fire
From this crushing depth
From all despair
Find my way to the waiting surface
Reach to the sparkling sun
That I fought so hard to reach
Let it shine
From whence I drowned
Streams of light
through the waves
Dissipate the nightmare
Beams through my window
Giving hope to these tired eyes
All senses find its way
All will awake
All will rise
All will be right
Smile
And I am content
Brave the day
As I am
On my way
~
Its nightfall again
Yet everything is different
Clean as the chill in the air
But here I lay
Under the stars
Forever seeing infinite
With new insight
But for now
Rest
Turn off the light
. . . and I say, goodnight
Goodnight.
Epilogue:
Esoteric Incarnations ~ 6th entrance . . .
Time after time, July was in her eyes
But you lie, you lie to your soul"
- Devin Townsend Project/"Stormbending"
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL2DU3TBNutEfei62nCZUVSJU6t531jBYo
Paradise Lost - Enchantment
Shape of Despair - Quiet These Paintings Are
Swallow The Sun - From Happiness To Dust
Blut Aus Nord - Epitome XVI
Oceans of Slumber - The Decay Of Disregard
Aquilus - In Lands of Ashes
Funeral Tears - For You
Clouds - How can I be there
Eternal Tears Of Sorrow - Sea of Whispers
Insomnium - The Primeval Dark / While We Sleep
Be'lakor - Neither Shape Nor Shadow
Opeth - Bleak
In Mourning - The Lighthouse Keeper
Anciients - Raise The Sun
Agalloch - Celestial Effigy
Autumn - The Venamoured
The Gathering - In Motion #2
Porcupine Tree- Mellotron Scratch
OSI - Terminal (Endless)
Devin Townsend Project - Stormbending
Leprous - Bonneville
Arcturus - Game Over
Epica - Cry For The Moon
7Days - Into Forever
Anathema - Ariel
Paradise Lost- First Light
Confessor - Sour Times
Trouble - Psychotic Reaction
A Perfect Circle - Orestes
Soen - Sister
Absolace - Alpha Omega
Oblique Rain - Nothing's Silence
Kingcrow - The Persistence
Clover Seeds - Over Camellia
Deadsoul Tribe - In A Garden Made Of Stones
My Dying Bride - Feel the Misery
Katatonia - Dead Letters
Foscor - Altars
Green Carnation - The Everlasting Moment
Cea Serin - Into the vivid Cherishing
Demians - Sapphire
Fates Warning - Wish
In the Silence - Ever Closer
Earthside – The Closest I've Come / A Dream in Static (featuring Daniel Tompkins)
Leprous - The Valley
Tool - Vicarious
Votum - Vertical
Long Distance Calling - Lines
Riverside - Beyond The Eyelids
Ne Obliviscaris - Forget Not
Opeth - By The Pain I See In Others
Sunn O))) & Boris - Etna
Opeth - Persephone
Devin Townsend Project - As You Were
"Dark is the forest and deep, and overhead
Hang stars like seeds of light
In vain, though not since they were sown was bred
Anything more bright.
And evermore mighty multitudes ride
About, nor enter in;
Of the other multitudes that dwell inside
Never yet was one seen.
The forest foxglove is purple, the marguerite
Outside is gold and white,
Nor can those that pluck either blossom greet
The others, day or night".
- "The Dark Forest" / Edward Thomas
Opus Insert: In closing.
End it all
Cloud of dust
Caught in storm
You lie there silent"
- Leprous/"Slave"
Let's become alive again
Holy water, holy mountain
Holy river, holy tree!"
- Yes/"Take the water to the mountain"
To find happiness, prosperity, love and inspiration - yes YOU can be that for someone who has seen the
struggle you shared, how hard it was to reach goals, sanity, a new way to look at life and other people.
This is not the end, but a path to a new journey, with a hungry heart, a new faith, if within and also if you
choose, something bigger than ourselves, that only YOU will come to understand.
Take the 1st step, embrace the fear, then find yourself, forgive.
And let it go.
"I ponder over parallel being
Remnants of a man worth his salt,
a shadow from the North
Once I spent
some thousand days out at sea with my love,
hopelessly devoted to the tides"
- Autumn/"Beacon: Forging Tempests Part IV"
Searching home still
Turning past me, all are gone
Time is now"
- Opeth/"Dirge for November"
Just believe, and you can't go wrong
In the light, you will find the road
You will find the road"
- Led Zeppelin/"In the Light"
To the glory end . . .
ere I will add more playlists as they come.
The dialogue will be left to the creators of these musics from here. Letting us all know that we are not alone in these oceans of gloom. We await for these emotions
to subside, but in the meantime we will let these artists fill our minds within the
sublight, the darkness but not in our souls or hearts. But with a light shown between the leaves and
branches, through the fog and shimmering above the surface of the waters in the depths we dwell to know
that it waits for us as a lighthouse from a distant shore to bring us home.
And as you see that light calling you, reachout to those that will help you, no matter who, as long as you
put trust in them, that you rely on them as your heart will tell you its true. Be keen and aware, yet be
cautious, but find someone to listen, who lets you speak without answers, who listens and lets you figure
out what you will need to find your way. But you will need to put faith in their words that speak to you, that
speak truth. But take what works for you, to help you along your path, to find a destination to pursue, to
discover, and find yourself. Search for the light and escape the abyss, though its a long climb, but its worth
all the sacrifice of the past . . .
But now, its time to look ahead. Find your bliss, your station, the person you want to be and take flight.
I have been in a darker place recently, but a day after the events that may have left me on the precipice, I
found hope, humility, life lessons, blessings and "miracles" - for myself and others. The Lord has always
been with me, but it was in these times where He showed his glorious power. But I had to let go and open
the door wide open to let in the light, like a sword sheathed into my very soul.
May He enter unto you as well, but never give up or give in to your hopes and pursuits. But if you choose,
give up and give in to a glorious power that will lift you up from the darkness, and hold you like a lost lamb in a warm and giving embrace, to carry you when you are alone and afraid to a new sunrise :).
Towards the end, please notice the Playlist that will uplift your spirits and with words of encouragement to keep you going to find your bliss and happiness ~ May it fill you with "possibilities" and courage, more
than you thought you ever had . . . .
I'm afraid but it's wonderful
I'm feeling the air again
It feels cold but it's lovely
I feel in touch with myself again
I'm afraid but I'm wonderful
'Cause I can stand on my own again
And I can see that it's lovely"
- Kings X/"I just want to live"
Solace of melancholia . . .
Have mercy upon me, O Lord; for I am weak: O Lord, heal me; for my bones are vexed.
My soul is also sore vexed: but thou, O Lord, how long?
Return, O Lord, deliver my soul: oh save me for thy mercies' sake.
For in death there is no remembrance of thee: in the grave who shall give thee thanks?
I am weary with my groaning; all the night make I my bed to swim; I water my couch with my tears.
Mine eye is consumed because of grief; it waxeth old because of all mine enemies.
Depart from me, all ye workers of iniquity; for the Lord hath heard the voice of my weeping.
The Lord hath heard my supplication; the Lord will receive my prayer.
Let all mine enemies be ashamed and sore vexed: let them return and be ashamed suddenly"
- Psalm 6
Sick to the bone with some spectral disease
Came back from the void with the void still in me
. . . Oh, how I wish I was here"
- Antimatter/"How I wish I was Here"
Esoteric Incarnations ~ 7th entrance . . .
Fill this empty house of stone
Make Your home inside my heart
Let me dance in the brightness of Your throne
Of Your throne"
- Iona/"Inside my Heart"
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL2DU3TBNutEc1On4Ue6JSkaEYkpDUjejA
Tracks and Lyrics:
Opeth - Dirge For November
Shape of Despair - Fallen
Confessor - Collapse into Despair
Godthrymm - A Grand Reclamation
Affasia - Dissolute
Ikuinen Kaamos - Condemned
Grown Below - The Long Now
Alcest - Sur L'Océan Couleur De Fer
Clouds - I Gave My Heart Away
In the Woods... - Respect My Solitude
Triptykon - Descendant
At the Gates - The Mirror Black
Negură Bunget - Cel Din Urmă Vis
Dordeduh - Jind De Tronuri
Cales - Sacrifice to Fire
Trail of Tears - When Silence Cries....
Paradise Lost - Prelude to Descent
Athela - Silent Water
Omnium Gatherum - The Frontline
Wintersun - Death And The Healing
Resonance Room - Maybe you are...
Witherfall - A Prelude to Sorrow...
Witherfall - We Are Nothing
Apathy Noir - The Immense Seas of Nothingness
Alley - Dust Layer
Agalloch - In the Shadow of Our Pale Companion
Anciients - Flood and Fire
Rivers of Nihil - The Silent Life
Opeth - Patterns In The Ivy (Instrumental)
Steven Wilson - Like Dust I Have Cleared from My Eye
Opeth - Harvest
Autumn - Beacon (Forging Tempests Part IV)
Sherri Youngward - She looks to the Sky
Led Zeppelin - In the Light
Dark Crystal; The Forest
Aeolian - Immensity
Saturnus - I Long
Lethian Dreams - Elusive
Sylvaine - L'Appel Du Vide
Crippled Black Phoenix - To You I Give
VOLA - We Are Thin Air
The Custodian - Necessary Wasted Time
Witherscape - The Northern Sanctuary
AIHVHIA - Aurora Borealis
Mirrorthrone - No One by My Side
Blackfield - Glow
Leprous - Slave
Opeth - Heir Apparent
Warrel Dane - Rain
Antimatter - Wish I Was Here
Azusa - Fine Lines / Programmed to Distress
Extol - Jesus Kom Til Jorden For Å Dø
Soilwork - Spirits Of The Future Sun
Trouble - The Wish
Black Sabbath - Lord of this World
Insomnium - Shadows of the Dying Sun
Be'lakor - Grasping Light
Alley - Lighthouse
7 Days - Redeemer
Rush - Earthshine
Distant Dream - A Touch Of The Sky (Instrumental)
Haken - Host
Rivers & Robots - Shepherd Of My Soul
Holly Ann - Lions Den
John Mark McMillan, Sarah McMillan - The Goodness
Iona - Inside My Heart
Madison Cunningham - Soldier
King's X - The Burning Down
Yes - Take the water (extended version)
David Sylvian & Robert Fripp - Bringing Down The Light (Fripp Soundscapes)
Fates Warning - the Lighthouse
Sea of Years - Lighthouse (Instrumental)
Kansas - Glimpse of Home
Opeth - Heritage (Instrumental)
Kings X - I just want to live
*extras
fin.
A fleeting glance became the start
A missing word I am still awaiting
A wretched deception, I am creating"
- Opeth/"Persephone"
But in time you'll find, the light, waiting
Boundless and barren oceans surround
But when it's darkest, you'll see the light
You must open your eyes
Then you'll know that the thunder only crashes awhile
And the storm clouds will pass soon
Then you'll see that the lighthouse waits for you
The lighthouse waits"
- Fates Warning/"The Lighthouse"
To the spirit inside you always be true!
You know you'll despair
If the spirit inside you used without care"
- Magnum/"The Spirit"
you when you think the darkness is all that waits ahead ~ There is your spirit also :).
For the Common Man . . .
- Helpful words from Vanessa B.
- Pastor Ben Courson and wise words for the lost . . .
- To Write Love On Her Arms (twloha.com)
https://twloha.com
"Fight the good fight every moment!
Every minute every day!
Fight the good fight every moment
It's your only way
All your life you've been waiting for your chance
Where you'll fit into the plan
But you're the master of your own destiny
So give and take the best that you can"
- Triumph/"Fight the good fight"
of these musicians are not making billions in sales, yet they have devoted fans all over the world! But they have bills to pay and families to
support just like YOU - so please see them when they come to your town, buy their merch, and possibly buy their CD's directly from them.
Thank you for your endless support, and indulging me in sharing my life, personal views and the various musics I enjOy ~ Bless you :).
Linger on deadwood
Gnarled and twisted in the gloom
Worms burrow
Infect with sorrow
But light breaks through
As green shown almost glowing
Waiting for a sword to break this scene
Something majestic to ease the pain
Plunge into the rock
And hear it sing
And into the spine
Of natures plight
And all that destroy life
Embracing darkness
Recoil from the light
Hear the creak and the voice of wood and stream
Consign to oblivion this road to ruin
The soul of all that dwell on this soil that was rich
Deep with remnants of the rain
Destroy it all
With raging fire
Within hearts that turn black
Not to this nature that surrounds us
But all that we are
As the Great Mother laughs
And Father above weeps
And his Son asks pardon for us all
His tears let the seeds grow
Even as man's kindness shows fissures and weakness
The green will overcome all the dead bones deep among roots
Man will continue to look at each other as adversaries to war
And emissaries to hell
Hands bloodied
To a benevolent king on a fiery throne
To bow and make sacrifices to hate
Forget all that gave life
All that, as once was one
They thought were one with nature
But gave into the dark one
A Crimson Monarchy
By Draconian fire
Dead and gone
What you destroy of nature
You are
A reflection you cast
And what you destroy of compassion
You destroy the lifeforce between
Leaf, root
And Tree
Ashes to ashes
Dust to dust
Till nature recovers what its lost
The piety of humankind that never was
These thorns are not tender
But are dry and brittle
Its sting lingers
Broken and fester under the skin
The arrogance they hold that man controls all
That WE could save her
But could not save ourselves
As we wallow in its sin
The birds will nest, sing their song
As humans sing their tune to the sound of death
As the Great Mother will absorb all they are in the deep earth
Until the sun burns no more
And give its life to the stars
Tranquility
Leave us all
Of iniquity.
As the sun will set
All my sorrow will die
One day
As nature will have its way
Drown in the sea
Under a pale moon
Burn in the gentle forest that lay inside
And all ashes blow to the wind
And in autumn to spring
Be reborn and find the sun again
May man, woman and child reconcile
And look again to the wood and green
And breathe
Breathe the clean air
Not look down to the machinery
That made us lose the way
And fall into our reflections
Look up and all around
And find the path by cutting out the debris
And wormwood
Let the rain wash away the ignorance
The crust of evil
The layers of selfishness and decay
To find what we lost
See the woods through the trees
And comes a new day
Feel its warmth
Look to and remember the sun
May the Creator find His way
Penetrate the soul
Sheathed with light
In His full spirit
Within you
YOU
Are the light
Shine.
All is well, the search is over, let the truth be known
Let it be shown (please give me a glimpse of home)"
- Kansas/"Glimpse of Home"