For Carrie . . .
- Obi-Wan Kenobi
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL2DU3TBNutEcUelAcRqBbJzKRkd6_mEth
And a tribute in Seattle 2016
C h a p t e r I
Part 1: I remember . . .
I was a HUGE film buff as a kid (such an odd kid, I even recognized "Anthony Quinn" with his children leaving the gates of Six Flags Magic Mountain theme park a few weeks after it opened in 1971. I loved the movie "The Guns of Navarone" and probably seen most of his films by age 9). Again, because of Dad, along with music, he loved movies, and I had seen plenty in theatres since 1963, even R rated movies, but it was a time that I was grateful for it because I learned how to "look" at the art, the acting, how it was carefully
photographed, the direction, the nuances to the writing, getting the actors to go beyond their training, and later, the art of production. And I enjoyed the escape from my real life that I often did not enjoy. No matter what the genre (except horror), my father tried to take us to the movies regularly.
I also knew my trivia as a kid (I had just about no childhood friends that could relate, even War films, and what kid knew about Sir Alec Guiness and "The Bridge on the River Kwai"? So he was a great loss to me as well, as Old Ben), and I had known about Carrie Fisher, her Father was the vocalist Eddie Fisher and his wife was the beautiful actress Debbie Reynolds, whom I'd seen in soo many films and I loved the song "Tammy", she had a great voice. Who also was in one of my fave epic westerns "How the West was Won" and sings a tear-jerker adaption of "Greensleeves".
But Carrie I had first heard of when my Mom and Dad went to see "Shampoo", which was too adult for me, and was her 1st appearance on film in 1975, soon after to star as a relatively unknown, but born into Hollywood star royalty, an epic sci-fi movie that no one had seen the like, even beyond 2001: A Space Odyssey. As Star Wars engulfed my world at 14 I followed her career as well. Her small roles in The Blues Brothers, When Harry Met Sally, Under the Rainbow and many more. Including Saturday Night Live, as a guest on Johnny Carson, Letterman and Craig Ferguson, and even Laverne & Shirley!
I always respected her no b.s. personality and not afraid to take jabs at Hollywood, which she revealed, apparently in her many books (Her book "Postcards from the Edge" became a hit movie) as a highly respected writer. She was on one show or another for years, but I had just found this last night. Amazing! She was a unique individual full of surprises . . .
You can see more of this humor from her one woman show "Wishful Drinking" (from her book of the same name). Its all fun and games till the drinking starts!
Clearly you can see where this sense of humor comes from, as the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
I really could add soo many funny videos, but you can pick and choose them from the links I provide, by looking on each YOUtube page.
I must've had a crush on Carrie like every Jedi to be, but to learn that the doe-eyed woman of smaller stature had a personality and strength that was 10 feet tall. If it was a Princess to a General, or stood up to the biz and did things her own way, fighting demons and self-esteem along with type-casting. But got through it all somehow someway. I can't help thinking about Billie, her daughter, to lose both mother and grandmother :'(, my heart goes out to the family, to the fans all over the world. All those people who are moved by her characters, her persona, and the life on screen as a warrior princess that to many of us, has been a role we grew up with. It was of quality and longevity.
So many people I've met throughout my life, from closet nerds, to musicians I have admired, as well as Carries peers, and for the past few years, many had to own up that; yeah, I'm a Star Wars nerd, and I'm proud of it :). And all the children that look up to these actors and their alter ego's, including this once princess to a general with all her responsibilities and her strength through all adversity, yet being vulnerable and down to earth and more - little do those kids know of all the real life struggles she fought to stay sane and then write about it all. But a prime example to kids like me, we still have that modicum of self-respect and dignity, or those other blacksheeps that need to embrace our diversity and be comfortable with who we are. That no matter what they say about us, we are "unique" and we were meant to be much more than we thought we could ever be, and be stronger than they all thought we would never become. We write our own book and turn the next page :).
We all weep for you (lots of tears listening and watching the playlist flooding my memory), but we all know that you are one with the force, that your mother joins you to take care of you so you don't feel alone. So, thank you Carrie for the light you bathed on all of us in the cinema . . .
For the General . . .
from the silver beams of light on screen.
For the Woman . . .
Wherever you saw "weakness", you found your voice.
May your Mother and Father in the stars watch over you.
We salute you our sweet princess . . .
Wandering the face of the earth
Wondering what our dreams might be worth
Learning that we're only immortal
For a limited time"
- Rush/"Dreamline"
Part 2: Keep the fire and dreams alive . . .
All the mistakes and regrets, all the bitterness and grudges may be a waste of space. Its hard to let go but any of us can be gone in a snap of a finger. I know that many are looking at the world and wondering how to live in it, well . . . LIVE WELL, and forgive your neighbor, and love them as yourself. If you don't love yourself, then know that those you trust around you care about you. They most likely want to see you happy, get out of your funk and strive to make a better life. But this is where WE come in :). Let us not leave unsaid words waiting for the day that will never come, but let them know you care and tell them they are not alone. Life is a struggle, a pursuit of happiness, but alone it can make life even tougher, lonelier, time lives in a vacuum, but humans don't. Maybe we are afraid to let those know who we care and love, that we have love and friendship waiting in the wings when they are ready? So I say, keep that door open to let them peek through :).
So many people are leaving us, so many musicians, artists, writers and actors, including family and friends. We may not have agreed with their opinions, or not put them on pedestals, but we admire their crafts, their achievements to be the best they can be and all that they learn and work at - that's what ALL of us try to strive to do. And admire the lives they lived, their experiences, what they have seen and what they share and teach us. So please encourage, inspire and feed the hungry heart before its too late. Mend the threads that have become threadbare, and fill those empty spaces. Those you need to contact again and make amends, mend those bridges burned, because we may never get another chance.
http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Memorial_of_deceased_actors,_artists,_and_authors
Actors:
http://www.imdb.com/list/ls033320811/
- Harrison Ford
"Carrie and I have been friends for most of our adult lives. She was extremely smart; a talented actress, writer and comedienne with a very colorful personality that everyone loved. In Star Wars she was our great and powerful princess – feisty, wise and full of hope in a role that was more difficult than most people might think. My heart and prayers are with Billie, Debbie and all Carrie’s family, friends and fans. She will be missed by all."
- George Lucas
"It's never easy to lose such a vital, irreplaceable member of the family, but this is downright heartbreak-
ing. Carrie was one-of-a-kind who belonged to us all- whether she liked it or not. She was OUR Princess, damn it, & the actress who played her blurred into one gorgeous, fiercely independent & ferociously funny, take-charge woman who took our collective breath away. Determined & tough, but with a vulnerability that made you root for her & want her to succeed & be happy. She played such a crucial role in my professional & personal life, & both would have been far emptier without her. I am grateful for the laughter, the wisdom, the kindness & even the bratty, self-indulgent crap my beloved space-twin gave me through the years. Thanks Carrie. I love you,"
- Mark Hamill
| Mary Frances "Debbie" Reynolds April 1, 1932 – December 28, 2016 |
C h a p t e r I I
Part 3 ~ Epilogue:
~ The film that changed my life ~
Once, under the wise rule of the Senate and the protection of the Jedi Knights, the Republic thrived and grew. But as often happens when wealth and power pass beyond the admirable and attain the awesome, then appear those evil ones who have greed to match.
So it was with the Republic at its height. Like the greatest of trees, able to withstand any external attack, the Republic rotted from within though the danger was not visible from the outside.
Aided and abetted by restless, power-hungry individuals within the government, and the massive organs of commerce, the ambitious Senator Palpatine caused himself to be elected President of the Republic. He promised to reunite the disaffected among the people and to restore the remembered glory of the Republic.
Once secure in office he declared himself Emperor, shutting himself away from the populace. Soon he was controlled by the very assistants and boot-lickers he had appointed to high office, and the cries of the people for justice did not reach his ears.
Having exterminated through treachery and deception the Jedi Knights, guardians of justice in the galaxy, the Imperial governors and bureaucrats prepared to institute a reign of terror among the disheartened worlds of the galaxy. Many used the Imperial forces and the name of the increasingly isolated Emperor to further their own personal ambitions.
But a small number of systems rebelled at these new outrages. Declaring themselves opposed to the New Order they began the great battle to restore the Old Republic.
From the beginning they were vastly outnumbered by the systems held in thrall by the Emperor. In those first dark days it seemed certain the bright flame of resistance would be extinguished before it could cast the light of new truth across the galaxy of oppressed and beaten peoples…
From the First Saga,
- Journal of the Whills
n i n e t e e n s e v e n t y s e v e n
We had just moved from Louisiana, 7 long years for me and my father, though my mom had family there and my little brother was born in New Orleans (my schooling was messed-up from day one there, so it continued through my teens, and having a form of dyslexia in math didn't help), so those were blessings for me. But California was home, and I felt much better in the surroundings I was away from, a different vibe, a familiar one and it was friendlier. I can remember my first week on Van Nuys Blvd. in Panorama City in the Valley (San Fernando Valley), riding my skateboard down sidewalks and marbled paths to the nearby strip mall and its department stores. I remember a complete stranger, who was much older,
actually said "hello", to me that was new and soothing. A couple of months later, with my Dad feeling a bit disappointed that we had to live in an apartment instead of a house, as he tried to make connections as a welder for a better job, there appeared something that would be my gateway to a new world. Since I was a pup, I drew. I drew Cars, Hot Rods mostly (and collected a magazine/comic called "CARtoons"), but I also had a fascination with War Planes, Tanks and building model kits. As well as my love of all types of films (and my burgeoning knowledge of music, and history), so all this was a bit of "training" for what was to come, for the rest of my life . . .
Across the blvd. was a rather large billboard structure, and on it was a simple advertisement teaser, all in black, no image (basically, a horizontal version of the above poster), except for the intriguing tagline:
My father found a cinema that was playing it (if I'm not mistaken, it was in Encino, which is right by the city of Van Nuys, where I would learn many years later is where they created the special effects for Star Wars in small warehouse units, before the move to Northern California and the creation of Industrial Light & Magic/ILM), it had a sizable line of people waiting, that I hadn't seen since seeing "Jaws" in downtown New Orleans, and I wondered what all the fuss was about.
I had seen 2001: A Space Odyssey in 1969 (which was way over my head) with my mom and her brother who was on leave from Vietnam. We sat (for some reason) at the top seats of the Cinerama Dome which I recall not many people were there. It is where I later saw Planet of the Apes and Beneath the Planet of the Apes
(which I still enjoy because its so weird), I had also seen various sci-fi movies and shows on TV, enjoyed "Silent Running" and "The Omega Man" (again, in theaters), but it all didn't stick, especially after seeing 2001 and Silent Running (2001 and Silent Running would have a huge part of the crew that would help create Star Wars), but I guess it was all a bit beyond me.
But when we sat in that theatre in Encino, not having any clue whatsoever what was about to happen - when the opening crawl came (also see its influences), I knew this was something very different . . .
tremendous John Williams soundtrack! But then a LEVIATHAN of a ship (the Imperial Star Destroyer) flew
right behind it over our collective heads with a stark realism I had never seen! . . . I was done. I became a
Star Wars fanatic at that moment, never to be the same again.
The "Hamburger".
Probably days later, I started drawing weird "spaceships" (because the Millenium Falcon was such an odd
shaped ship, and my ultimate fave starship of the Star Wars universe along with the T-65 X-wing - btw,
you "fans", please continue to DROOL over that astounding "History of the Falcon" link!) with colored
markers and pencils letting my imagination run wild, but also trying to remember the spacecraft I had
witnessed in the movie.
It was my dad's trips to Hollywood that the next level of a fan I'd become - he loved going to Hollywood
blvd. to "window shop" with its quirky shops and take in the city with mom, because he had always
enjoyed film since he was a boy living in Honduras, and now he had been living close enough to where it
was all made. We came to a bookstore with a large picture window, and in the window was a book opened to
this image below (and sketches on its opposite page).
Note: The original printing of The Art of Star Wars was in 1979, so I may have seen the pages of THIS
magazine (which I started collecting 3 years later) . . .
Illustrators who created album, book/magazine covers, anime/manga and film productions).
Ralph and a team of others soon after, would be the inspiration to attempt to draw "the narrative" in a
composition, something with a story that was a still photograph of a moment within a fantastical scene.
The "Art of Star Wars" also included the original screenplay with many of the scenes that did not make it to the final cut, I knew it just about to heart, as well as trivia that would go on for its 2 more movies. I still have the original prints of the 3 books as well, as my most treasured collectibles :).
Soon I learned that no one wanted George's script, until he hired "Colin Cantwell" with his early concepts, and then, McQuarrie's beautiful translations of what George saw in his head - the visuals sold the story to then Alan Ladd Jr., Executive Producer and President at Twentieth Century Fox Studio (who would also be
a champion for Ridley Scott's "Alien" in 1979 and "Blade Runner" in 1982).
But it was the Millennium Falcon and these 3 images (including the intriguing image of the TIE pilot) that expanded my universe and influenced my early drawing skills, composition, foreshortening, perspective views and its surroundings. But these images asked plenty of questions and conjured fantastic adventures in all our imaginations, there was a story behind each concept board . . .
This early version of the X-wing, its minute details, including the composition and its foreshortened
perspective was awe-inspiring. I began to look at and create art differently with its dynamics . . .
were soo ahead of their time, yet have a "70's feel" about them, which I have tried to emulate through my
own designs. My road was clear, I knew what I wanted to do with my life and be a Concept Designer in new high concept films to come (and having no idea that the Star Wars Universe would expand).
But I was 14-15, I had no idea on how to go about it, I was a naive "green" kid that did terrible in school,
had no gumption to stand-up for what I wanted because my parents did not support my art back then . . . at
all.
So making a career or even to carve out a path to becoming a professional artist was not encouraged. Only to my father if I became a "Car Engineer". Though it is ironic that in my senior year in highschool, my
esteemed Art teacher Howard Hollander at Nogales High in La Puente Ca. had us tour the exceptional Art Center College of Design in Pasadena (where it happened, car stylists are born and are used to develop concept cars for various firms), which many famous concept artists have graduated (USC, UCLA, Long
Beach, and CalArts had excellent programs as well, along with its famous alumni) including futurist Syd
Mead (who would design Blade Runner), gave us a glimpse of where we could develop our skills to the next level.
I should have stood up to my folks and said "This is what I want to do, and I need to go here!" . . .
So began the struggles with my parents, especially my father :(. Such wasted time full of anger, frustration
and bitterness - it would be years later that my mom would say to me (and said again recently in 2017);
"Its too bad we didn't send you to art school in Italy or Spain" . . . gee, a little late. I should have put my foot down with my parents, told them exactly what I wanted to do with my life and where I needed an education to fulfill this vision.
. . . now all regrets. Damn regrets.
So my education began at the School of Hard Knocks where I got my "masters" (yet I still have more to learn and new visions to tap into), on my own, drawing just about everyday, devouring any sci-fi/fantasy art/art of books/portfolios I could find, including trade magazines, Heavy Metal (which actually got me into
Comics instead of pre-90 era American comics, I never liked the "printing" and style of early comics, until decades later, it was the "painterly" euro artists that amazed me what they could do in each panel, like a
storyboard artist for film, which also interested me because of Joe Johnston's boards. But it was the more adult stories that intrigued me as well). Which would influence the new wave of comics, including
80's/90's Anime and Manga which I also started collecting with their lavish books with glorious extensive detailed breakdowns of anything drawn for their productions, which included "Resin Kits" of Robotic
Mech and wondrous Character/Heroes. If I couldn't afford the kits, I could have books showing off the
details with beautiful photography and turn-arounds to show-off how intricate they were.
I not only collected music LP's and CD's, but since 1977 had my "Art Of" collection of Star Wars books and magazines with its few pieces missing, but this has been my world all these years (The "Films" more-so, I need to watch many animation series and catch up on many comics and novels - but I'm kind of a Star
Wars "purest", mostly the films, anything written/created by Mr. George Lucas). But I collected and
devoured Artist Book Portfolios of Sci-Fi/Fantasy and Manga/Anime.
I would have plenty of art heroes (many you can see here) filling my shelf and mind, but it would be Colin Cantwell, Ralph McQuarrie, Joe Johnston, Nilo Rodis Jamero, John Mollo, (later Doug Chiang and Ian
McCaig) who would be the foundation (also sci-fi/fantasy artists; Frank Frazetta, Jim Burns, Michael
Whelan, Rodney Matthews and Roger Dean and many others) for my beginnings.
Through a hard life on my own, through the school of hard knocks and life lessons while developing my art portfolio, later in my adult life, I got my start at a couple of Video Game companies "Angel Studio (95)", "Square LA (97 - working on the 1st 3 phases of "Parasite Eve")" and various freelance gigs with very
talented, wonderful people (and a few nightmares, which just about every freelance artist deals with), I
still hope to work on big budget productions. And my ultimate dream to work on Star Wars related films. Film has always been where I wanted to see my designs come to life on the big screen.
I have lived through some very tough times since, even a bout with "homelessness" when I had met
Producer "Rick McCallum", thanks to "Lee Whalley" for introducing him to a group of us having breakfast at the nearby Roosevelt Hotel, during the premiere of "The Phantom Menace", which I put time in line at the Manns Chinese Theatre in Hollywood (which all has a longer story as well). Mr. McCallum was kind
enough to give me Art Director Doug Chiang's personal office address with a group of line members
looking on with our mouths agape (thanks to one of them mentioning to Rick; "You should see his
portfolio!" As Rick asked "Have you talked to Doug?", I said, "...Doug Chiang?" Rick - "Do you have
something to write on?" :O where I reached for a "Ralphs Supermarket" receipt), without even seeing my
portfolio, and somehow through my adversity, I sent a Portfolio to him and was able to talk with Mr.
Chiang 2 times on the phone (super friendly!), but I was too late for "Attack of the Clones" unfortunately, but he did send me a very encouraging letter (also recommending me to try "LucasArts", but I was in dire circumstances at the time to pursue it, but we all know what eventually happened to the studio) . . .
each of us has our own "story", others try to tell you theirs, their personal experiences that reflect their ill advised; "It's really hard to make it out there", "You can try but there is soo much competition", "It's hard to get noticed when everyone is doing the same thing". But that's their story, make YOUR own, blaze your own trail - it may have been done before but its YOU that makes it different (if its your idea or a familiar motif), you are you and YOU make it "unique". So maybe you and I must heed what Yoda said; "Do or do not, there is no try". . .
Oh you little green bastard :P, it's easier said than done, but somehow, someway, we have to DO it.
http://mavartworx.deviantart.com/gallery/1656184/Conceptual-Art
Star Wars related designs:
https://mavartworx.deviantart.com/gallery/63797302/Star-Wars-Related-Designs
A Star Wars related Short that I helped design and Storyboard in 2016:
https://www.starwarsdarklegacy.com/
And more art from the production:
https://mavartworx.deviantart.com/gallery/63571588/Star-Wars-Dark-Legacy-Concepts
~ Epilogue ~
We are the dreamers looking beyond the twin suns . . .
Yes, everyone dies. It's the facts of life, but losing 4 friends since 2004 (and my father in 2006) is full of regrets not doing more with them, maybe feeling disappointed in myself and letting all those people down who knew what I wanted to be, that includes people I love very much who watch me struggle.
But I have to carry on, I have no other choice and be compelled to follow the dream until its come to its full fruition and make the life for myself. I can't give up, I have to keep at it, keep improving and introducing fresh ideas. From adversity comes our true strength, we are able to endure everything thrown at us until we hold tight that great opportunity that comes our way.
My fellow artists and peers need to remember that, don't give up or give in, till you get that place to shine! :). Reach that goal and find that place through all the obstacles, no matter who tries to stop you, or
nature's course. Get up, dust yourself off and never surrender.
I have met soo many fans of this saga, and it has always been a reflection of "life", all the obstacles and dreaming, as if we were all looking at the twin suns for a better place, our escape to bigger adventures. It's full of romance and dreams, but that they were attainable, any of us can achieve the goals we set for
ourselves, and encourage instead of discourage those that have their own dreams to fulfill.
All the Metalheads/Proggers, 9 to 5'rs, Artists, Actors, kids from 5 to 95 years old, journalists and the
famous, have a special place for this saga. We have lived with these faces for many years, and its stories to take us away from the everyday toil. And I hope to still be amongst its creators delving deeper into its universe and have my chance to see my designs on that BIG silver screen. Art and music filling my head and soul with inspiration and influence, all divine gifts given and nurtured to astound us. All that I love to share (and write about) with hopes it inspires others to find their bliss. These 2 mediums that keep me going, as well as a deep spiritual belief that I am not alone, and that the miracles, along with my own
abilities, have opened doors and kept me alive - and that I will see success again with what I create with my own hands, that have been honed by those that came before, currently, and the music that soothed and became my soundtrack for creativity, as well as getting me through the hard times.
Again . . .
To all the dreamers, all the people that love to escape and the creatives that create astounding things, and fellow veteran concept artists; keep the dream alive and never give in, and find your creativity again, strive to new heights and new visions. WE must never give up on what we have inside us :).
And to those gone, we remember all of you, you all inspire and influence our road to new horizons, and with that, you are alive in our hearts, and the generations to come.
Feeding on the fires
Dreams transport desires
Drive you when you're down
Dreams transport the ones
Who need to get out of town"
- Rush/"Middletown Dreams"
Words from Carrie . . .
"I have a mess in my head sometimes, and there's something very satisfying about putting it into words. Certainly it's not something that you're in charge of, necessarily, but writing about it, putting it into your words, can be a very powerful experience."
"There's a line I have that our family was designed more for public than for private. But there are definitely some things that are only mine. I am someone who dreams at night, and you don't know what I'm dreaming."
"One of the great things to pretend is that you're not only alright, you're in great shape. Now to have that come true - I've actually gone on stage depressed and that's worked its magic on me, 'cause if I can convince you that I'm alright, then maybe I can convince me."
"I don't think Christmas is necessarily about things. It's about being good to one another, it's about the Christian ethic, it's about kindness."
"People are still asking me if I knew Star Wars was going to be that big of a hit. Yes, we all knew. The only one who didn't know was George."
- Carrie Fisher
So do what you gotta do, time waits for no man
Time waits in silence
It can be so still, allows you the thrill
Then moves in for the kill"
- Russ Ballard/"Time"
Jedi Tribute to Carrie - by Sergei Zuev
General Organa Fly By - by Joel Gale
She is one with The Force now - by Fennethianell